♥ Love is no Secret,Flaunt It! ♥

Monday, October 27, 2008

4:36 PM

A few days ago, nat (yeo) came over to my place to bake. Cheesecake!! haha, credits to nat( nah) for her recipe. Cause nat(yeo) doesnt like the smell of the cheese. She claims its wet! haha, she crumbled the digestive biscuits and i took the liberty to do the rest!! =)

Haha, if youre wondering why my NewYork cheese cake looks like this. haha, this is why...

me: Dear!! I finished baking my cheesecake already!!

Aaron: Wah, nice? I wanna eat!!!

Me: NICE!!! Super nice ah! You know what i did? I put a bit of chocolate on top and make designs. Its super nice la!! My first time some more leh!

Aaron: WHAT?!? NO!!!* screams over the phone* NewYork cheese cake is plain one dear! No chocolate!

Me: B..b...But, its nicer like that what. =(

Aaron: Ah yo dear, now its marble cheesecake already.

Me: =( *stays quiet on the phone as sense of accomplishment just went down the drain*

Aaron: Dont worry dear. I'm sure it'll taste nice. Save a big piece for me k?

Hahahahaha. So there you have it.. NEWYORK/MARBLE CHEESECAKE!!
Aaron didnt get to eat it cause my brother finished half of it. The rest was finished by my grandparents and daddy =( Sorry dear, ill bake one more just for you!!

My dad handed me with a parcel this afternoon while i was doing my Deepavali assignments. I opened it. Wallah!! It was an entire stack of "love" cards from my mom. Oh man.How sweet!

Just when i was thinking if love can actually stay the same throughout a marriage. My mother used to tell me that marriage is not a bed of roses. Its not as easy as it seems.

Now i came out with my own answers. Marriage IS a bed of roses. Not forgetting that roses have thorns too! When i was young i would ask my parents if they really loved each other but i didnt really got the answer i was looking for. Until today that is.

As i flipped open cards one by one, i was affirmed. I knew, that they loved each other.Deeply. I guess love comes in different forms.

Mummy and daddy, ILOVEYOU. Thanks for bringing me up!

LOVE

Love means accepting one another.
Love means being there for one another.
Love means forgiving.
Love means sacrifice.
Love means smiling at one another.
Love means disturbing and joking about one another without hurting his/her pride.
Love means tolerating each other's nonsense.
Love means being deaf to each other's snores.
Love means knowing how much sugar they want in their coffee.
Love means , DANCING IN THE RAIN!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

11:49 AM

HAHAHA

A reader of my blog told me that he had difficulties understanding the content of my posts as he had NO IDEA on what impermanence meant. hahaa. Here it goes...

With reference to my many previous posts with the word, IMPERMANENCE

To put it in my own words, it just means that nothing lasts forever. Be it whether it is good or bad. How long does your happiness last? How long does your pain last?

Like what my mother said, life is like a coin. There are two sides to it. There'll be good times and there'll be bad. Her exact words:

" In life,there is always ups and downs. Sometimes good sometimes bad. The rich wont be rich forever and the poor wont be poor forever."

This, the very basic truth of Buddhism. Regardless of religion, you have to accept this.

My faithful reader, i hope you understand what impermanence is. This post is dedicated to you.

Nostalgia

Monday, October 20, 2008

9:31 PM

I cant hold back the tears any longer.
I read her blog again.
Once again, hurt and despair filled every fibre of my soul.
I could feel the tightness in my chest building up.
Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat, i said to myself,

" This is life.Impermanence."

I took a deep breath, pulling myself together.
My eyes started to burned. I fought back.
i failed.
Tears spill from my eyes.
This heart wrenching incident is too much for me to handle.
What more her? She's the one going through it.

Some think I'm too sensitive.
Some think I'm easily affected by people's problems.
Some think I'm putting extra worries on my plate.
NO!
I'm learning.I'm accepting. I'm facing the brutality of IMPERMANENCE.
Man i hate that word!!

i've learnt. Just trying to put it into action and plucking the courage to express my feelings and let the people around me know that i care.

TO a dearest Friend:
I am truly disappointed. Aaron too. Please , start treating yourself right. Aaron wants me to talk to you. I know you just wanna have fun but this is not the way. Think of the consequences. We truly care for you. All we can do as friends is advice you. Ultimately, you choose your path. Like what i've always told you(which to you,is nagging ), yes, there are always obstacles and challenges we are faced with in life. Friends are not here to solve your problems but to overcome it with you. I can only do and say this much. Take it or leave it.Your choice. Just know that i really care for you and want the best for you. i love you.

Phew, simply blogging about it made me feel so much better. I have underestimated the power of expressing my feelings. Well, its not too late to start now.

I always believed that crying was a sign of weakness. I feel good about myself whenever i successfully fight back my tears. This past month has taught me a great deal. You stood by me through my breakdowns. Rubbed my back while i wailed in your arms. Your exact words

" Let it out dear.Let it all out. You'll feel better."

And i did.

I am so grateful to have you.
Iloveyou, Aaron.

Something to smile about =D

FRUITFUL DAY! =)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

2:22 AM

Been bombarded by intriguing questions all day.

What is creativity?(Asked during CreativeArts tutorial)

I've always felt that creativity= Art. Guess i've been too "one-tracked"
I've always felt i was no where near creativity, let alone possible of any creation.I guess not.
Today's lesson on creativity has taught me a great deal.
& Thanks for the compliment Robyn! :)

What is the difference between being child-like and being childish?(Also asked during CreativeArts tutorial)

Belinda did a wonderful "Act" on the two. CreativeArts is starting to get fun! Lavina and Belinda(lecturers) are so 'REAL'. Somehow, they seem to be different as compared with other teachers/lecturers.They are so natural,so warm and so " themselves", not giving two hoots about what other people think of them. How inspiring.

Which is more important, physical beauty? Or inner beauty?( Asked on "Women on top", channelU tv programme)

Learnt SO much from this episode! I agree,HANDS DOWN with everything a celebrity,Huang Su Fang said. Most of the points mentioned on the show made ultimate sense.

Girls should put effort in dressing up as it can be a form of confidence booster. When confidence takes your side,naturally you'll be in a positive state of mind, leading to a happier YOU! I believe that in order for others to love you, you have to first learn to love and accept yourself.

That reminds of something Ajahn Bhram shared in one of his talks,

Summarised story:
A group of monks built a wall of a hundred bricks in a monastery. However,there was one fine brick that was out of place. Anyway, whenever people saw the brick wall they would exclaim on how ugly the wall is because of that ONE brick!
Everyone was criticising that ONE brick that was out of place and was totally blinded by the 99 PERFECT bricks!!!

Sigh, what a story! Nothing but the brutal truth of most humans. We tend to overlook the positive traits of people(sometimes ourselves) and seek for imperfections instead. Well people, lets focus on what we have and be grateful as there are people in third world countries who may not even have a face. Lets count our blessings together!!! =)

Everyone says that NOTHING is perfect. I beg to differ. To me,

CONTENTMENT equals PERFECTION

I thought about it.
Perfection exists only in the state of mind.
Its rather subjective though.
Perfection is seen only when one is satisfied
or contented with something or someone.
I may not make sense to you but,
i make sense to myself and am pacified.

Monday, October 13, 2008

1:13 AM

BUSY BUSY BUSY lately.

WHOLE house was painted. Check out the before and after pictures.

My room,before

Ma bro's room,before

Tv room,before

Living room,before

AFTER!!!

Been working at the Singapore Flyer lately. It may be a permanent weekend job for me. I wanna save up for my ipod and my new car! Anyway,yeah many things have happened yet again! Whatev, PEEKTURES!!

(me in sch camp)

Just some last minute updates. So much to update but no time. i gotta sleep now, sch tmr. Oh yeah, sch ends at 6 and i gotta give tuition at 8PM!!! Sigh. gonna be so EXHAUSTEd! yeah nights peeps. Thanks for viewing!

Before its too late

Thursday, October 2, 2008

8:49 PM

Started on a new book recently,it was a present from Nataline. Although the first few pages put me off slightly, i'm starting to get engrossed. I hope this would be a good book. haha, im pretty particular about the books i read. I get really upset when i'm done with a book and it sucked. What a waste of time. Anyway, i got a new book. I cant wait to start on it but i cant till im finished with " Thanks for the memories". Long way to go, its a HUGE book mind you!

Cleaned the house again. Took curtains down,wiped my window grills,swept the house(2 times),Moped the house(3 times). Phew! On the downside, i felt like a lonely widower cleaning the house. On the bright side, my head was processing superloads of thoughts. It was great though.

HAHAHA, we're gonna give my house a total makeover! Yay, she's getting a face lift! Or botox

Changes to be done to her...

Bought and fixed a new fan for the TV area(done)
WHOLE house WILL be painted!
Fan in the sofa area to be painted
Have a change of toilet doors and shower screen
All the room doors will be painted!
I'm getting rid of the TV in my room and replacing it with a MIRROR!! YAY!!!!
MY ROOM IS GONNA BE PURPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

The best thing is that all these will be done next week,when im away in CAMP!! HAHAHHAHA. Evil, i know.

My targets for this Month:

Try not to eat meat (petrified by hormonal injections)
Sleep at 12am latest
Shape up!
Try my best to express my feelings
SAVE SAVE SAVE!

To Mummy:

Mummy, iloveyou! You never failed to be there for me in times of troubles. Thank you for always assuring me that my family will always be behind me no matter what! Thank you for answering MY call THAT night. Thank you for easing my trembling hands. Thank you for patting me to sleep in your bed even when i was soaked in my perspiration and trembling with fear. You were always there mum. You moulded me into who i am today mummy. I know i do not express my gratitude to you in person, i simply dont know how to start. I'm just SUPERLY thankful to my good karma to have you as my mother in this life.

I LOVE YOU MUMMY!!

To You,

You probably have no clue about how much im missing you.
You may never know how much you mean to me.
You accepted me for who i am.

I apologise for all the troubles i've brought upon you these 8 months.
After all the hurt i ive inflicted you with, you stood up tall and said to me,
" I'll wait for you no matter what"

These past weeks have taught and transformed me in ways i've never imagined.
I've learnt better to cherish.
You stood by me through my darkest times.
You were my pillar of strength.
You are like no other.

I said i'd tell you when i've closed the chapter of my my previous "story".
I said i'd tell you when im ready.
I'm sure youve noticed the change in me recently and you shouldve known by now.
But i still wanna let you know again that ive already let bygones be bygones and youre all that matters to me now.

Your determination has paid off and its high time you reap what youve sowed dear.
Never have i thought i would feel this way again.
You saw positive traits in me i never knew i had.
Your optimism has given me a new set of confidence.
I'm ready to walk down the road of life with you.
Yes it sounds cheesy but who gives! Nothing else matters to me now.
Youve made me believe that not all guys are coldblooded CHEATERS!

This is to you, Aaron. I want you to know that i accept you for who are. hahaha. You can wear your Bball shorts to meet me in town,i dont give no shit no more! It doesnt bother me anymore :) There's no point typing all these out because words cant express how much i feel for you and after all, words are just words if its not being acted upon.Youll see in time! I'll prove it to you. It's my turn dear. I shall use your words against you.

"YouDontHaveToDoAnything,JustLetMeLoveYou"
(Quoted directly from Aaron)

-NIDA